March of the MAGA lemmings

With a shutdown looming, Republicans happily leap off Trump’s cliff.

Senate and House Republicans have accepted what amounts to a political suicide mission from Donald Trump. And here’s the kicker: they almost seem happy about it. The so-called leaders of the GOP are lining up to sacrifice themselves for the village idiot in the White House—a man many MAGA cultists once considered the next best thing to Jesus Christ.

Why are these legislators so eager to torch their political careers for an imbecile like Trump? Maybe they’re daydreaming about cushy Fox News contributor gigs once the voters boot them out. Maybe they’re hoping MAGA billionaires like Peter Thiel will hire them as “consultants.” Or maybe they’re betting on Trump’s dictatorial fantasy—his wet dream of becoming America’s first monarch. Whatever the motive, Republicans will now surrender everything.

The result: the government is set to shut down within 24 hours. Democrats don’t even have to try for a 2026 victory—it’s being gift-wrapped and delivered early. And Trump? He’ll use the chaos as an excuse to shutter federal agencies like the Bureau of Labor Statistics, because in Trump’s world, no data means no failure.

I’ve followed politics for a long time, and I’ve seen cowardly legislators cave to power before. But I’ve never seen anything like this. For nearly a decade, we’ve watched this bumbling halfwit methodically subjugate an entire generation of GOP lawmakers. It started the day he rode down that golden escalator in 2015 and told the world that Mexico was “not sending their best”—they were sending rapists and murderers.

Back then, Republicans at least pretended they were ready to take him on. Ted Cruz called Trump a “pathological liar” and blasted him after Trump insulted his wife’s looks. During the primary, Trump also slapped Cruz with the nickname “Lyin’ Ted” and pushed the absurd theory that Cruz’s father was involved in the Kennedy assassination. Lindsey Graham warned that if Republicans nominated Trump, “it will destroy itself and they will deserve it.” Trump, for his part, labeled Graham a “liar” and a “lightweight,” and even gave out his personal cell phone number to thousands at a campaign rally. Meanwhile, Trump tagged Senator Marco Rubio as “Liddle’ Marco,” while Rubio briefly scored points of his own by mocking the size of Trump’s tiny hands.